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november musings

november is the month when the seasons actually change.it's the temperature yes,but we all know it is the light.when the light goes so does some of our ability to punch back at the enemies of joy.but keep fighting.
i find that november is this odd mixture of excitement and dread.there are all these"supposed to be"holidays of joy and family and gift giving and thankfulness blahblahblah when in fact many of us are simply reminded of the lifetimes of collisions and lacks of whatever we lack.in this way november is an evil little month.there's nothing worse than hope you're not sure about.but most of us have a precious other or others that we can scream at or wrestlewith or laugh and some of us have songs we can write stuffing we can make or e mails to write.therefor i think that november is a creative month with all its pain and contradictions and it's like going to a forein city for the first time.november always feels like the first time.i have no advise.i just think it's extraordinaryily interesting don't you?it's kind of a cousin to april.expectation anxiety the dread of regret.the passion for these short days and the mystery of these intrusive nights.many of us are down or unsure and that cab be attributed to our economy and our president who wont raise his voice and the mad hatter's tea parties that are having fun and the illness and imbalance of countries whose names we barely remember.yes it's not an easy time.but it is not a passive time.fight back as the sun goes down and light up the night with your music and eating and loving and thinking.be angry.not just depressed.nature is not always kind and we must be unkind back to it.
light a candle for those you've lost what you've lost and what you are afraid of losing.then stare into the flame and know it's love's fire.loves power,the secret mysteries inside of you that you can yank out in defense of this very hypocritical mind fuckinf time of year.we are here together.we all may not be feeling it but for those of us who are-isend you hundreds of weapons from the mind and heart.dont worry about december.it's much more stupid and obvious.not the first two weeks.but from then on the danger lessens up a bit. fight for the light inside and build a city with your name on it.